Happy Birthday Early, Brother.

 

“We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
Even longer,' Pooh answered.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

 

Happy Birthday, Jason.  I really wish that you were closer so we could go out and have a drink or three.  I wish that you were closer so we could laugh and remember old times.  I wish that we were closer so the kids could all be together and Mom and Dad could have the cake for you like we used to do on your birthday.  This Milwaukee stuff is hard.  When you were here in Ames, we really took things for granted, because we all figured all eleven of the grandkids (and us) would be here forever.  Even with all of the technology....the facetime....its just not the same as having you right here. 

 

Being 18 months apart we have always been close.  We have had our ups and downs, but you have always understood me. 

You have always watched out for me.

You and I have been able to fight like the best of them as well, but no matter what, we love eachother.  This past year I think we were taught that and we now know that stupid stuff just doesn't matter.  Family always comes first.

We probably should not have told Jamie that her epidermis was showing that one time we babysat her for the first time for like 3 hours and made her cry...because the ass beating wasn't worth it at the time, but now...well, the story is totally worth it.  I mean, you and I single handedly created steak knife you know who.  And Lurch Pugsy.

Please, please...think Disney in the next year.  With Mom and Dad.  #Big One.  :) 

And the three of us are awesome.  Otherwise known as:

PEACE, LOVE and HARMONY in the BERG FAMILY. 

(Which I hear Janice Ann really likes for Christmas....)

Now that you are gone, we all miss you more than you will ever know.  We wish that the car ride was 30 minutes and not 7 hours.  We just wish that we could see your kids and you and Jenny like we could when you were here. 

Come visit soon.  We miss you.

We love you.

Happy Birthday early.

 

Love, Ta-Dat.

 

Angels Just Happen

Angels. They are everywhere. Unseen, and right there in front of us. My angels gave me a second chance, and carried my family through until this day. How do you even say THANK YOU?

I haven't posted in awhile. I have been getting back into the routine of things, and trying to do the best I can.  I cannot, WE CANNOT express enough, the thanks that we have from all of our friends and family for the support, the meals, the love, the prayers, the EVERYTHING...that you have all given us.  We are forever grateful for our each and every one of you that has said a single prayer for us and our girls.  We have been more than blessed, and realize that angles, in many shapes and sizes have walked into our lives. Some hidden, and some right there.  We are so, so lucky.  I feel like, why did it take a stroke to make me realize that there are people that really do care out there?  Why did it take a stroke to make me see that God really does help us at our darkest hour?

I have struggled with that a lot lately.

I have been angry.  I have been upset like...why did that happen to me...but then like..what the heck...He was obviously pissed with the way I was doing things, so it was like, "hey, lets give her a stroke..." just enough to teach me a lesson...like slow it down and see that you need to appreciate me more, Colleen....

So...yes.

I pray.

I pray a lot more than I ever have.  I can tell you that my family...my family, extended and my immediate family means EVERYTHING to me.  EVERYTHING.  I mean it. You just have nothing else in life. Family is your core. Family is what binds you. If its messed up, FIX IT. NOW.

If you don't like it, forgive.

Second chances don't always come.

I got one.

Guess I should use it.



I am thankful for each and every one of you.
Every step of the way on this journey.
September 13, 2012 I had a stroke.
A lot has happened in between.  I would not have changed a bit of the friends and family and strangers and doctors and therapists that I have met along the way.
I am blessed.
Today, I am at work. Not quite full time.  I am walking.  Without a cane, but with the AFO.  I have headaches weekly, but managed by my medication. On occasion, I will get a bad migraine which will require a shot.  I have an appointment with Mayo Neurology set up in the next few months for that.  Physical therapy is mainly at home, but they check my home work and my AFO.  I try to walk without it and I end up in a lot of pain and realize that I am in the AFO for a reason. The nerves in my foot just are not quite firing yet.  Time will tell.  Boy, am I lucky, though.  I am scheduled for surgery this coming week for GERD to have a lap nissan done.  I have always had GERD, but has worsened since the stroke, and they decided this was the best solution for now.  This will be a week in the hospital.  Then....hopefully, I will be at mayo for my headache specialist next and out of the clinics for awhile!! ;) 

I have my ups and downs, ins and outs. I find it funny...Dr. Baughman put me on these anti-depressants right after having my stroke. I asked him why.  He said because 99% of people with strokes are depressed.  (This was 2 weeks after my stroke and after being on the meds) I said, "I'm not depressed.")  Well, yeah.  I have my bad days even being on the medications now.  I feel like crawling in a hole for no reason.  Its weird. So thank you to all of you for pulling me out, I read your notes and comments, but sometimes, I just can't pull myself out of it...and it sucks.  Can't explain it.  It's the stroke hole.  I DON'T LIKE IT.  I'd rather be in Disney World.  When I'm down, I'm quiet, I'm bitchy, and I withdrawl.  But thank God I have friends and family who know me and constantly send me texts, messages, and facebook posts to keep me on my toes.  It helps.  Obviously, Dr. Baughman was right.  There is a depression factor in this mess too.  Thank GOD for you all.

So to all of you who are reading this, thank you for caring.  Thank you for being there for us.  For me.  For my family.  Thank you, especially, to you, Matt, Mom and Dad, Jamie and Mark, Jason and Jenny, and my entire extended family for being there.  Thank you, to the Gibbs family.  Thank you, church family.  I love you all to the moon and back.  Thank you God, for giving me another day to hug my girls, to kiss my husband, and to hug my parents.  LOVE YOU ALL.  Thank you to all of the angels.  The ones we can see, and the ones that were invisible to us.  For you helped us more than you will ever know.  Blessed are we.