Day 117

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
~Mad Hatter

Grateful for the best people

I don't know what it is about this movie...that makes me love it so.  Perhaps its that I am mad.  Perhaps I have gone entirely bonkers (which is totally possible)...but then all the best people have gone mad.
According to Alice.
I like nonsense some days.  I like just acting like no matter what, you can be silly with your kids, and  just do crazy stuff. 
Imagination.  It's something our kids are losing.  Its something that we need to stir up again.
Nonsense.  It's necessary.  It means that it's ok to just be....silly.
"Those aren't horse flies, they are rocking horse flies." ~Alice
"Whooo arrre you?"~ The Caterpillar
I think that we need to have an Unbirthday Party soon, to celebrate nothing.
Just an Unbirthday.
I do believe....that this is in my near future plans for the girls, for the cousins.  Maybe when we open the pool for the season...we will have an UNBIRTHDAY PARTY.
And we will have lots of the "best people" there.
:)

Day 116

"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in."
~Rosa Parks

Grateful for her

The St. Cecilia fourth graders do a wax museum every year.  When Rylee was in fourth grade, she did Helen Keller.  This year, Regan was Rosa Parks. 
I asked why she chose her, and she said, "She was very brave, and made people free."
Regan studied, and memorized facts about her life, so when you came up to her at the wax museum, she would start talking and tell you who she was.  All of the fourth graders had a lot to memorize, and they all did wonderful jobs with their costumes.
Rosa Parks is someone that shows us that life is about living out loud.
It's about standing up and stating what you believe in...no matter what.
Not wondering what others are going to think about us, or what they will say about us, or what will happen if we go out of the box we are in.
I think Regan chose well.
Freedom is something we all need to be thankful for.
Freedom is something that we have, and often forget we are lucky to be free.
God Bless America.
And God Bless Grammie for helping with the bus and the props.

Day 115

"And in this crazy life...and in these crazy times, its you, its you...you make me sing...you're every line, your're every word...you're everything."
~Michael Buble'

Grateful for my everything (s)

Today we got some news that was not the best.  Without saying everything out to everyone, we are asking that everyone prays for Papa...Matt's Dad.  AKA by me..."The Judge."

He needs many prayers sent his way.  The whole family needs prayers right now.

When Matt called me today, it was like my stomach knotted up in a horrible ball.  I could feel the pain in his voice, and heard the worry.

Sensed the sadness.

When you go about life, just going...you often times forget how important EVERY SINGLE BREATH we take really is.

Thank you, God...for giving me another day, even though I am sure I have not done my fair part in living up to who and what I need to be.  Nonetheless, please just keep Papa safe.

My family...we talk, we laugh, we cry, we share.  We are different than Matt's family...although I know they do the same...its just not how we do things.  And, that is ok, we are not right, and they are not wrong.

Sometimes, people just deal with stuff differently.

I do know, however, that every single person that knows Papa needs every prayer he can get.

He is one hell of an Irishman.  I love his stories.  The girls love their Papa.

I am left feeling guilty as we have not been up to visit as often as we should, or could.

I know that my Dad and my Mom and my family are my EVERYTHING.  Matt, my girls, Papa and Grammy.  We love them so.

We will pray and hope that Papa stays strong and that our God and our angels watch over him.

Papa...Judge...Dad...You are part of our everything.

<3

We love you, and we are praying that everything is going to be ok, I'm afraid.



Day 114

"Mom, lets call Aunt Jamie and see if she wants to go to Pon....Cheros."

Grateful for Aunts who like Poncheros

I do believe the love for Ponchero's started when Kailey was in preschool.  We would be done with school, and Aunt Jamie and I would go to Ponchero's with her.  She would order her regular.  Chicken tacos with sour cream on the side and cheese only...then of course chips and queso.
This was our thing every Tuesday and Thursday.  Kailey LOVES Ponchero's. Preschool Pat even came there one day and ate with us, and Kailey soaked that all up.  :)
Today, Kailey was home sick with strep throat...and not allowed anywhere til after 4pm when she had been on antibiotics 24 hours. 
At 10:45 the bitching started.  "What are we gonna dooooo today?" 
"When can I have a playdate with Mia?"
"Lets call Aunt Jamie to go to PON...CHEROS.
Phone call made.
Jamie stated this.
"I would rather get the flu where I am shitting and puking....I cannot be exposed to strep, I will get it.  No doubt.  I am sorry, Kailey, but I will not expose myself to that."
Kailey replied with throwing herself on the floor and kicking and screaming...then, she had the plan.
"Ok, Mom.  WE go to Ponchero's or someone dies."
I didn't feel like asking who dies...but my guess it was Aunt Jamie cuz she said she can't go.
So there you have it.
Kailey suffered thru the pizza rolls and ice cream...which in my book would be classified as bucking up a little.
So for the rest of the afternoon, we (Kailey and I) talked like Mary Poppins.
Chip chip, cheerio.
Spit spot...lets get a move on, shall we?
Pip pip cheerio.
Next time, we need to hit Poncheros.
Kailey says.
:)

Day 113

"And I would like to thank all the little people...."

Grateful for love of school

Who knew that my kids would love school as much as they do.  The fact is, they have had wonderful experiences at St. Cecilia and at Ames Middle School to date.  Kailey found out she had strep throat on Monday, and was told that she could not return to school until Wed.  She was HEART BROKEN!  This kid lives and breathes school.  This kid is the last of my three to have Mrs. Hammer for a teacher.  Mrs. Hammer is one of the best teachers I know.  She is tenderhearted, kind, loving, and her faith speaks volumes.  She is a wonderful Mother, Grandmother, Teacher and friend.  The fond memories of Mrs. Hammer's toy sale, the readings of Little House on the Prairie...the prayers learned, the patience given.  She is one of my favorite teachers.  She is special to our family, too, because her daughter Licia and my sister Jamie were bff's growing up. 
I know that something is right when...you hear your child singing this at night:
"Dear God, I am calling...please listen...its me.
You know all about my day, from A to Z.
You know when I'm frightened, sad, or alone...
please stay close beside me...
make my heart...
your home."
This is always...always...followed by a prayer.  I listened to her prayer last night.
"Please God, let the spots on my tonsils go away so I can get back to school.  I know that Mia misses me, and I miss her.  And we got new seat assignments, and I get to be by Mia.  So please, please, make me better tomorrow.  Thanks, God.  I love ya, Man." ~Kailey
(and she really did say "I love ya, Man.")
Only her.
So maybe, just maybe, with the help of some amazing teachers, God, and who knows what else, we are doing ok as parents...cuz they seem to get that God is there.
We are grateful for Mrs. Hammer, and all of the teachers who have touched the lives of our children.  I can tell you that Kailey wanted to CALL Mrs. Hammer last night to tell her how upset she was that she had to miss school.
So, Mrs. Hammer, thank you for being an amazing woman, an amazing teacher, and for touching the hearts and souls of my girls.
We love you.
To the moon, even.
And, in the end...you can thank all of "your" little people...because, they ADORE you.
Thank you.
God Bless.

Day 112

True.

Grateful for people that don't

Sometimes, one person can ruin it for everyone.  One single person.  Yep.  And for a grudge holder such as I, hell yes, I think that people that suck should just stay home.
Instead, we stay home.  Probably wrong.  More than likely really wrong, but I refuse to let people that suck run my life.
But, that being said....I seem to let plenty of people that DO suck...influence my decisions.
Perhaps I need to take on a new attitude that we are a force to be reckoned with.  Evil and mean should not win.
SHOULD is the key word.
People that suck make your kids feel bad, they make me feel bad, they make everyone feel....well....bad.

*turkey sandwiches at the gas station for Thanksgiving= true happiness*
NOT.
Guess what.
I think I am done with the bullshit.
I am ready.
Lets go.
Try me.
Life is too short.  Thinking that from here forward, this person that stands in the way...can go elsewhere.
WE love this family, we are a part of this family...someway.  Somehow.
One time, we felt that.
Or at least, I felt it.
Ready to go head to head.  This is not about right, wrong, etc...this is about the fact that no matter what...you hate us, you love us...whatever.  WE still love Grammy and Papa, and we miss our kids being able to know their other cousins.  Just because we are in Iowa...doesn't mean we are gone.
WE want to be a part of things.
We miss this.
One person...well, she can decide what she wants.
I just know in my heart, that I love them all, and I wish it were all better.
And Papa's voice tonight...confirmed all of it.
Forgive and move on.
We don't have forever. 
WE make mistakes, but own yours as well.
<3
It will work somehow.
I have faith.

Day 111







We love our Grammy and Papa...wishing we could be with them more...sooner than later we hope.

Grateful for Grammy and Papa...

Three hours is not that far.  We need to make the trip soon.  Our niece Sara, was wed yesterday.  We were not able to make it.  We love and miss our family on the Gibbs side.  My girls love their Aunts and Uncles.  They don't know their cousins, and I hope they can at least meet them someday and have a good time together.
Sometimes, things are out of our hands.  I don't like how I can't fix what is broken.  I am at the point where, I feel like...what is broken is broken...and maybe we just pick up and go forward and screw what is broken.
We all miss Grammy and Papa.  
We love them so.
I wish that growing up and forgiving will happen soon.
We are not here forever.

Minus the parents, the kids seem to get along just fine.  Perhaps we all just need to be more like kids for a day...or three.
I miss being accepted into the family.
Hoping that someday soon, we can try to brave it all again, and those that choose to ruin things just stay away.
We don't have forever.
We do have tomorrow.  We do have the possibility of new starts.
We can only hope...that this soon will be fixed.

Day 110

SHE DID IT...NO, SHE DID IT, no, SHE DID IT!

Grateful for the blame game

Thank God that we had 3 girls.  Everyday, someone is the ugly stepsister.  It just depends on how the flow or the mojo of the day is going.  Someone is on the "outs" on a daily, sometimes hourly basis.    Its something one did to the other, and the other two who are getting along seem to have the most problem with the ugly stepsister.
*Why can't we all just get along?*
:(
With Jason, Jamie and I, it used to be two against one as well.  Usually Jason and I against Jamie...and we would tell her that her "epidermis" was showing to bring her to tears...all to find out that it was just her skin.  Then Mom and Dad took care of Jason and I for being mean to the baby.
Jason and I used to fight every time we passed Felix and Oscar's and fight who was Felix and who was Oscar.  It was always more favorable to be Felix, of course.  Then every time we went to Des Moines, Mom made Dad take the back roads, which made us pass the "Ditch Witch" store, and Jason would call me a "Ditch Witch" and chant that to me til I was in tears.  Mom and Dad laughed...soo not funny or cool.
*Maybe a little funny now*
The kids now a days can "look" at someone...usually a sibling...and cause a major domestic.  I didn't even have such superpowers.  Now, I just am finding myself talking through my teeth which i totally inherited...
Maybe someday, we can all just get along.
THAT
would be great.
Here's hoping..."A dream...is a wish...your heart makes..."
LOL.

Day 109



I truly love this frog today.

Grateful for stupid pictures that make me laugh

Matt and I have discussed several things today...and when I saw this picture, it just made us both laugh out loud.  Maybe we shouldn't be parents...the level of immaturity is prolly not the highest, but maybe that's ok, too.
not one single gram
Why? Because it's Wednesday.  Because we are overwhelmed with home improvement projects going on in the house.  Why else? Because the god damned gnomes still get into the vodka after we thought we had that under control.  (gnomes have a 5 o'clock somewhere, too.) Why more? Um, two people in physical therapy in the same fam, one kid with horrible ear infections in both ears and horrible allergies, one kid with a growth plate in her heel that is not closed and she has hurt it so badly she's in a cast for another week, but she can't stand not dancing.  Why again? Well, because that kid gets to have four teeth pulled tomorrow.
(She has already had 3 pulled)
Insert floating frog here.
hell.  we are made of money, so what's $478.00 for a pill called versed?
not one gram
that didn't include the cost per tooth to pull.  Poor kid.
Dance.
not one gram
Well, look on the bright side.  Tomorrow is Thursday...and we live in Iowa


Ok, well, its not that bad...I just laughed my ass off at this one, too.
Immature? Yes.  Funny?  Hell yes.
And I am how old, and am a mother of how many? (That's Janice's saying from when I was in nursing school....but it was..."You're how old and ENGAGED TO BE WHAT?!)  Married, Mom.  Married.
Sweet Jesus, help the child.  Between Matt and I...we will need the band of angels that watch them 24/7.
We do really care about things all the time.  And people.  But today, and some days, you just have to kick back, like the little froggie dude, and not give
one gram.



Day 108

A.K.A the middle kid.

Grateful for the middle

I know this kid...she will change things. She will do something great one day.  She came home and told me that she wanted to "help people with disabilities one day like you and Grampie, Mom."
This kid- she has the tenderest of hearts.
She...would make an awesome nurse.
She...will be awesome at whatever she chooses to do, because she has that drive.
I know that drive.
I know...that one day...she will make a difference, and she...
will change things.
Because she...is amazing.  She is full of spunk and fun...she... might not like the rules, or follow them all the time, but breaking them is part of the fun.
I get it.
I get her.  I love her.
(And she knows it...even though she says she knows I love Kailey the most...and Rylee the second most.)
She knows.
With every button pushed...she knows.
<3
To the moon, kid.  Go change things.
You can do anything.
And p.s.
I totally love the infectious giggle that you have...that I know how it feels when you can't stop laughing...and I try to be serious and tell you to stop- I am laughing my ass off inside.
Its funny.  I love funny.

Day 107

Say hello to my little friend, Erin Lynn.

Grateful for sassy pants

This wonderful note was written for me the other night.  From my loving little niece, Erin.  I think I told them, while at Mom and Dad's...to pick up their toys and to get along.  
About five minutes later, I get this note handed to me by a one Kailey Kathleen.
She promptly explained to me that "I didn't write this, Mom....Erin did.  I just helped her spell 'listen'."
Awesome.
She and Kailey = Sassy pants squared.
I took the note, showed it to Grammie, Jamie, and Jenny...and everyone else.  Then I went to find Little Miss Erin Sassy Pants.  When I found her and Kailey, Erin would not "wook" at me. 
I told her, "OH YES YOU DO TOO HAVE TO WISTEN TO ME BECAUSE I SAID SO."
Then I told them...in a laughing voice...that if they don't wisten to me, then I will have to pinch butts.
This...for Erin...always...makes her giggle her little giggle that makes me smile from the inside out.
"So there!"  I said.  "I will pinch butts if you don't WISTEN to me...or if you FROW FINGS."
<insert the giggles here>
and insert Erin's sponge bob teeth.
and Kailey's disapproving look with the smirk...followed by Kailey saying...
"Ok, Mom....go now."
Gotta love the little sassy pants.
They have been this way since they were small, and something tells me...they are not about to change.

Day 106

Wellons Drive.  Ames, Iowa.  Terri, Jamie, Me, Tigger, and Tommy.  Jason was probably soaking his feet?

Grateful for cheeseburgers

Dad taking the job and moving away from Mom's family in Superior was a leap...and he took it. 
It was probably one of the hardest things that Mom did was move away from her family.
We lived here, in Ames.  Aunt Jean and Gram would visit often.  We would make the trek there all the time, too, because family is very important...that's something we were taught early on.  This entry, however, is about the dog. 
Our dog Tigger, he was something else.  The dog's head...was huge.  He was huge.  Wherever he went...outside, inside, to bed, next to his food bowl...he had his cheeseburger.  I believe this cheeseburger would wear out weekly, and Mom...claiming she "cannot stand the gd hairball"...would go and purchase a new one bright and shiny with a squeaker that would drive you mad.  (And in the background, Mom smiled a little when Tigger was thrown his new cheeseburger.)  Pretty sure she liked him.  Him was a good boy most of the time. 
Except on Sundays.
Him was not a good boy on Sundays.
Sundays were 'sleep in days' for Mom and Dad.  We would wake up early, turn the tv on, and watch endless cartoons and eat whatever we could find in the fridge or the pantry.  We knew we had to be quiet. 
That plan was all well and good...unless we came down the stairs...and god a whiff of the pungent odor of a freshly laid pile of poop by the ginormas dog Tigger.
Let me tell you, it smelled bad.  Baaaad. 
It was a contest.  It was nearly a race...a competition...to see who could run up the stairs FIRST and tell Mom and Dad.  (Because Tigger pooping voided the sleeping in Sundays.)
Most times, we all got up there at one time and in a sing songy chorous...we sang in unison...
"Daaaaaaaaddddd, Tigger pooped in the dining room again.....Daaaaddddd....are you going to get up....it smells baaaad."
Then God's last name (which we thought was dammit) would be mumbled by something like...
"you good for nothing hairy assed..." and then Mom would say, "RENO!"  And then told us to just go back downstairs, Dad would get it.
Pee-eww.
Tigger was lucky we loved him, and that Mom loved him (just a little)...because those poops were big.
And I don't know...
...I still think its funny as hell we would wake Dad this way on Sundays.
Poor guy.  I don't know how he cleaned it up without barfing.

Day 105

"I always enjoy visits.  Especially visiting children.  I might be 88 years old, but I need people.  I was a pediatrician for 55 years.  I can't just be sent to a 'country club' of nursing homes and be left here.  I miss people."
~88 year old pediatrician from Blank Children's Hospital

Grateful for lunch with a pediatrician

So today at the nursing conference I was at with my co-worker, we sat down to have lunch.  Up walked an older MD, who asked if the seat was taken next to me.  I said, "No, it has your name written all over it."  He smiled and sat down.  Cute little guy.  He proceeded to begin talking.  He didn't even really introduce himself, he just started talking.  He said he didn't think the lunch was much...they get pasta all the time at the "place" where he lives.  He said its ok that he lives where he does, its like the country club of retirement homes in Des Moines.  He said after his wife died, and his son was "40 and decided it was time to run my life"...that he put me in here.
He said, don't get me wrong...its a nice place.  But, if I keeled over dead tomorrow, the housekeeper only comes once every two weeks...so he'd be pretty dead by the time anyone knew.
He said his son calls twice a day like clockwork.  He said he rarely sees him, and looks forward to dinner with him so he can eat something besides pasta.  He said he has a daughter who lives in town as well, but she never calls, she might call once a month, but she's "always busy."
He looked at us and said, "You know, who would have thought...that it would end up like this."
I miss my wife, he said.  I miss her like crazy.  He said, we met here, in Des Moines, she was a nurse.  I was a poor medical student, and I heard of this student nurse who had just had surgery, and so I decided to go check on her.  He said, I tell people that we met in bed...she was there with an iv and all...and it was magic.  We knew from that moment on, we were made for each other.  I made house calls.  I loved taking care of children.  I loved doing what I do.  I love being around people...except teenagers, they are a REAL treat. 
We laughed, he smiled.  He told us that he thought his son would follow in his footsteps and be a doctor.  His son didn't want to be gone all the time...like his Dad was.  He said his daughter, she never comes around...and his oldest daughter...died at 44 of a brain tumor.
This man, he had a lot of sadness.  He got teary eyed as he told the story.  We just sat and listened to him for well over 45 minutes.
When we were done conversing, he looked at us and said, "Promise me you will go home, and hug your family members.  Promise me you will visit your Mom and Dad OFTEN when you ship them off to a home.  Promise me that you enjoy your children."
We promised, and he smiled, and I cleared his plate, he thanked me, and we shook hands, he pulled us in for a hug, and said, "Thank you...you made my day...I just miss people."
88 years old.  I could have sat there all day long.  He had story after story.
I will never "tell" my parents what to do.  I will never "tell" my parents they need to move to a nursing home.  I will take care of my parents if they so choose.  I would not want it any other way.  They have always had time for me...and I will ALWAYS...ALWAYS...have time for them.
I don't ever want to be too busy for anyone.  Ever.
Thank you, Doctor ........for your stories today.
<3
I am glad I was so lucky to hear everything you had to say.
<3

Day 104

The Ellie Badge...the highest honor...


Grateful for Ellie

I cry every time I see the movie UP.  EVERY TIME.  We all have the "Ellie badge."  Jamie and Mark got them for everyone upon arriving in Hayward one year.  We all wore our badges with pride.
Everyone has a moment in life, when you know you are the luckiest person on the face of this earth.  Maybe its just me, but I feel like I have had several of those moments.
I guess there are moments in life where you hope that you will never forget where you are...at that very moment.
Journal.  Draw.  Take pictures.  Remember.
Tell stories.  Sit and talk around a campfire.  Listen to music that you love with those that you love.
I love my Ellie badge.
I love the memories that surrounded that summer.
You never know when you won't have another summer with those that you love.
We have new adventures every day that we are faced with....its what we choose to do with them is what makes them special.
Sometimes, the day just happens and we want it to go away, or we want the weekend to come, or we just want people to leave us alone.
No matter what, someone, somewhere is thinking about you, and remembering something about you.  Make it a good memory.  Cherish your friends, cherish your family, love the one you're with, and count your blessings.




You are my sunshine...






Cherish what you have.  I know today...I sure do.  I may not be the best at expressing that, but I cherish what I have, and who I have in my life.
I love my Ellie badge, for its the highest honor you can have. 
<3
We all have them in this family, and we are all connected...because of this badge, because of the memories we have, and because of our
ADVENTURES THAT LIE AHEAD.
<3

God Bless us, every one.







Day 103

"PUH-LEEZE, MOM???!"

Grateful for the pleases

This night, it was "please, Mom...can we stay out a little bit longer and catch more fireflies?"  I am pretty sure I answered with a yes.  I am looking forward to the summer days where we can sit by the pool and be lazy, to walk along the creek and catch frogs. 

To the days where it doesn't matter how long you sleep or how late we stay up.  Bare feet and tank tops.  Sun kissed faces and cheeks along with the blonde hair.  Fishing with Grampie.  Packing the boat and unpacking it when we hit Hayward.  Cousin time.  Family time.

Friends and BBQ's.  Sunshine.

Flip flops.  Bike rides, scooters.  Campfires and smores. 

Just wishing summer would hurry up and get here.  I have three kids who deserve a break.  Matt and I deserve a little break, too.  It was almost 82 degrees today.  Prediction for snow this week.  Welcome to Iowa.

Summer, please hurry...we miss you so.

Please.

Pretty please with a cherry on top. 

Thanks.  :)

Day 102

Erin and Kailey...the youngest of the 11, but maybe the smartest?

From time to time, this has been threatened by a one Erin Lynn Berg.

And together, somehow, they think the devlish plan is amazing...

Grateful for tantrums

The youngest two are plotters.  They are wise beyond their years.  They have very big ears....and very big mouths, too.  With the upcoming move of the Berg family, the tension is felt even in the smallest of people.  The "its not fairs" and "you wike her betters" and the "you never wisten to me"...all of it starts rolling out of the little mouths.  They are small, but they are wanting big sister sleep overs, they are wanting Mc Donalds when they want it and where they want it.  They are going to stand their ground, no matter what.
Last week, Erin came over to play.  It was time to leave, and the fit started...Erin in tears, throwing shoes at Jenny, and yelling/crying..."You just nevo wisten to me...and when I get home, I'm not gonna wisten to YOU!"  Then she added the "clincher."  "AND....when I get home, I am gonna FROW STUFF."  L.M.A.O.
It was all I could do  not to laugh..but then Kailey chimes in, "Yeah, you all should be happy we can't play anymore...way to ruin a playdate...we were JUST FINE."  WHAT?! Are you freaking 30??
ps her hands were on her hips. 
So Jenny told her it was fine if she didn't "wisten" and it was fine if she didn't put her shoes on, cuz her socks would be wet and that was fine. 
Poor Erin.
Cece just stood there and shook her head.  Jenny and I looked at eachother like, wtf do you do with this?  um, you look up to the sky, and thank sweet Jesus that we have no more cheeldren than we do.
Playdate yesterday at Grammies...the two plotted agains their Grandmother.
They told her when it was time to leave, that "just a second, we need to talk in private."
"Private." Grammie said with an "I don't think so look."
They didn't understand why on a Sunday they could not have a "Sweepover."  Grammie explained it, but they did not like it.  Erin kept saying it wasn't fair evo.  And Kailey...it was the dreaded
silent treatment.
This kept up all the way home with Grammie.  Grammie is laughing her ass of inside... all the way to West Ames..or BFE (bum *&ck Egypt) as she often calls it...but showed no emotion.
"I wasn't going to play their little game.  Two can play at this one."
Oh my goodness.
Sweet Jesus, son of Mary, please help this family now or forever hold your peace.
Thank you.

Day 101

My girls are my favorite.

I love you to the moon and back.  You are all my favorite.
~Mama

Grateful for 3

Three.  Its the magic number...yes it is...or is it? :)
I love them all so much.  I love them more and more each day.  I found myself today, looking at pictures from last year, last summer, and seeing the changes in their faces.  Kailey has no teeth now.  Rylee has braces.  Regan still has not grown taller, but she's wiser.
Time is flying by.  Maybe for just a little while, it can slow down.  This week is not going to make things slow down at all.  Between the physical therapy appointments for Kailey's hips and appointments for Rylee's teeth to be pulled next week.  Squeezing in appointments for a heel injury, I am afraid the growth plate injury is back, but really bad this time.  I fear that it could mean a cast and no recital, no dance for Rylee.  Regan starts competitive gymnastics tomorrow.  I have to squeeze in 30 hours before Wed, I have a my nursing conference in Des Moines Thursday and Friday.
Why does everything have to be so busy.  If the hurry ups could just slow down.  If the hugs could be longer, the blown kisses be caught every time...if time would just slow down just a little.
If only.
But I love them so. 
I love them to the moon and back, and somehow, I will try to slow it down.
Even if its just for 5 minutes.  Because that 5 minutes might mean the world to one of these beautiful little girls. 
<3
You are all my favorites.
To the moon, girls.

Day 100

"Peanut."

~Bahaha haha haha haha!

Grateful for immaturity

Yes, at 37, this picture makes me laugh out loud.  I think immaturity is an art.  I think I have perfected it through my years.  I know my father has.  Perhaps...this is where I get it.  Nonetheless, its fun to do stupid shit.  Its ok to let your kids know that you are still a kid at heart even when you are 65. 

Pea-nut.

That's funny.

Pee nut.

Funnier.

One time, in church at St. Cecilias when I was little, we were in the front pew.  I had a superball that was sooo wanting to leave my hands.  But...it was Father VICTOR.  **extra super meanie crabby pants priest**

Sick of waiting anymore, mass was almost over, and I let it go.  It bounced on the wood pew, and bounced off the steps and he SAW it hapen.  We proceeded to hear this."Whomever thought a superball at church was a good idea, well, we will say 10 Hail Marys together before we depart."  FML.

Mom and Dad didn't see the humor in this at all.  I was in big trouble, but they laugh about it now.

Because they know.

They know, that this...or WORSE...will happen to me.

Super.

Super dee dooper.   Cannot wait.

Bring it.

Day 99

What a beautiful baby girl!



Dad even knew she was a KEEPER!  :) 

Grateful for Mom

Happy Birthday to my Mom.  Somehow, I learned that she is one of the best friends that I could ever ask for.  She was brought up in a family so very filled with love...that she passed it on to us...the only way she knows how.  We are so very blessed.  I can honestly say that I don't think words can describe how this family got so lucky, how this family just knows that we are always there...it just is.

<3

I gave my Mom a lot of hell growing up.  (This is prolly why my kids are like they are, my Mom and Dad secretly wished this upon me...and I think they even said once or twice, "I hope you have one just like you someday.")  Now they sit back and giggle their asses off, because as most of you know, I have 3 girls...just like me. 

So, all through the memories of growing up, I sit back and smile.  The many car adventures in the station wagon.  The life of the dreaded hairbrush that only came out of her purse on those amazingly amazing family bonding times in the car...on the way to ...wherever.  Or the wooden spoon.  Or the talk through your teeth face...which...I have not only inherited, but I recall laughing at this face once...and then she laughed, and I think it ended in someone peeing.  I remember Mom cooking stuff we asked for all the time.  Me, I suck at cooking.  She would be up in the kitchen on Wellons Drive making homeade cheese balls, ice cream sundaes, stove popped popcorn...caramel corn...puppy chow...ahh...those were the days.

I think it must be that she is

A. too old to cook stuff like this anymore

B. she is sick and damn tired of slinging hash for people

or

C. since she retired, maybe that means  you just don't have to cook unless its for your grandkids.

Whatever the reason, it's ok,  we will all take the "SLUNG HASH" anyday she likes to offer it. 

(Its getting to be a rare moment, but nonetheless, we still beg her to make her famous...something or other long enough, and she will.)  And Austin will be happy to add, "Grannie makes everything with LOVE."

CHEERS, MOM!!  WE LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

(and don't chew my ass out for this pic...it happens to be one of my favorites!) 

Love you!

<3

Day 98

"Orphanage...16th Street.  Mildred and Mrs. Robinson's orphanage and school."
~Kailey and Regan

Grateful for little do-gooders...

So this week with Daddy being gone, they started "playing orphanage."  Normal?  Not so much....or at least I don't think so.  I am hoping they got this idea from Despicable Me, or Meet the Robinson's... the movie.  *And not because I told them that they fought so much an orphanage wouldn't even want them.*  (Right, Mom of the year award....because I followed that up with, "They would return you to us and charge us, too.)  OOPS.
But they "played orphanage" for a few hours today, and days passed.  They wear the high heels, carry over sized purses, and bracelets, and fake cell phones...complete with a baby of some kind wrapped in a blanket.  They drop the kid off at the "orphanage", and then they take care of them.  There are lots of orphans in the 16th street orphanage.  I told them there were too many to feed, and they told me that they had to take all of them in, because they had nowhere to go. 
They are good little eggs.  They take care of them all.  Big, small, tall, short, skinny, fat, furry or not furry....they just keep taking them in.

Dear God, this is just ONE corner of the "orphanage..."

"Mom...its a good thing that none of these guys eat much....cuz we don't have jobs."
Laugh out loud.

 :) 

I love my kids.  I love them lots.
( I wouldn't send them to an orphanage...well, maybe I wouldn't ...) 
:D

Day 95

"Abso-frigging lootley.  Just think of me in my underground garage full of awesomeness."
~Me.

Grateful for underground garages full of wonder.

Ok, so I made it through a crappy day of work, just not always fun being a supervisor.  Made it through snack and homework time, and even dinner time.  *ugh*  Switched laundry, started the dishwasher, vacuumed, petted the little white ball of fluff that needs him hairs cut...and fed the fish.
Baths done, showers taken.
Snacks distributed and eaten.  Fight # 894 occurred with only minor injuries which I threatened further injury if a said fight # 895 should occur.
Child number one needs/wants her hair braided.  My temporary phone (that sucks shit, I might add)..turns to Chinese.  Child number one is told that I cannot braid hair or should she let me while I am angry.  (Could turn out bad for both parties.)  Child number two files complaint number 56 for the day.  This time its an ailment affecting her right eye.  (but only sometimes)  MY right eye begins twitching due to the stress level.  WAIT.  Its Monday and waaay past 5 o'clock.  Hello you beautiful glass of you...you.....
:D
Then child number 3 comes up and asks for a snack.  Boom.  Snack bowl filled.  Phone call made to a husband who is sure to be thankful he is far, far away...and tells me to "reset" my crappy pos windows phone. So i did.  It worked.  Good thing I didn't unfriend him on facebook.  That has happened like 7.5 times with an occasional block depending on the severity of the situation.
(Never is it my fault.)
*tsk-tsk*
Um, if you need me in the next couple of days, I will prolly be in the underground garage.
Most likely painting unicorns and rainbows.
If anyone notices me drooling or what not, just nudge me.
Wednesday can't come soon enough.  I just bet a cool million that Matt is thinking the same thing.
<3
Something tells me, though, that he is enjoying peace and quiet in sunny AZ.
jerk.
:)

Day 94

"It's a business trip, honey...I will be home by Wednesday."

~Matt

Grateful for my mystique

So, when he goes on the business trip and leaves me here, yep, everyone is "WINNING!"

(or...not so much)

Lets just say, "When the cat is away, the mice will play."  They seem to do that just fine. :)

It is times like this I am grateful that we only had 3. 

It is times like this that I am grateful for McDonalds, Panera, and Panchero's.

It is times like this that I am grateful for teachers who assign extra freaking math homework (so really I am grateful for answers.com and google.)

It is times like this I am glad I can pick up the phone and call my Mom and tell her I am talking through my teeth and I thank her for teaching me that awesome art form of expression.

It is times like this that I am grateful for booze.

It is times like this that I am grateful that teachers feel the need to assign extra projects that REALLY EFFING SUCK.

It is times like this that I am glad I have a dog who loves me so, because he looks at me like..."I am sorry, Mama....I still woof you."

Its times like this I am grateful that I know better than to poke my eyes out with sharp objects, because my happy pills are just a few steps (OH LOOK!) away.  (PHEW.)

Its times like this that I am grateful that Matt is far away from me...because I think he knows that if he were here....well, wait...if he were here, I wouldn't have anything like this to bitch about.

Wow.

I just had an "Aha" moment...

I am sooo Flo in Finding Nemo.  "Hi, I'm Flo, this is my sister Deb....don't talk to her, she's nuts."

....uh....Deb is Flo's reflection. 

Awesome.

Yep....



Above is note to self for the rest of the week.  Yeah, that should work pretty well. 

**OR NOT**

(Gotta go break up fight #874.)

wow.

Day 93

"Between the red cells and white, something's not right, but we're gonna take care of you...."

~Rascal Flatts

She dreams she's dancing....my Aunt Jean, she was dancing.  She was fighting every single odd out there...living past the pain and in the pain...and smiling through it.  She dreamed.  She dreamed all the time.

I loved Aunt Jean.  She was the wind beneath my wings. She was the person, no matter what, that I could go to and talk to about anything. She understood, and never judged.  Funny, cuz my Mom was the same, I just never let her in.  I had a bond with Aunt Jean.  And Gram.  And now, they are gone.  I miss them so.  My heart hurts so bad.  I wish that I could go back in time, and one more time, tell them, "I love you."  " To the moon and back"....but, I think...they know. 

I know that I make many mistakes. I know that I am not the best Mom ever.  What I do know, though, is...that I have been blessed many times over with a family that most do not have.  For that, I am grateful.

"She went dancing..."

I love you, Mom.  Love you, Gram and Aunt Jean.  I love you Jamie and Jenny and Jason.  I love you Matt.  You all help us dance.  We can all dream we are dancing...with the help of each other.  We are what makes us family.  I need each and every one of you.  No matter what.  To the moon.

I love you all.

<3

Day 92

"Who DOES that?"

~Me.

Grateful for magic erasers

Really?  Who does that.  Boogers are not my friend.  Especially when I find one on a wall.  It makes my stomach turn inside out.  Seriously, its not the first time.  I got home today, walked down the hall, and there, next to the spot there was one last time...I find another.  "WHO THE HELL WIPES BOOGERS ON THE WALL WHEN THE FREAKING BATHROOM IS ONE STEP AWAY?!?"  Yup, I was not too calm.  I don't get it.  I mean, these are girls.  Pretty little girls that use Kleenex and would never think of such a thing...but someone has done this....I know.  It must be Daddy.  So Daddy uses reverse psychology on them and was like, "Wow....that is the most AWESOME BOOGER I have EVER seen! Whoever did that is going to get ice cream and a special prize." 

Dead silence for a bit.

Then, piping up from the back....a little voice bit on this one, and said, "Ok, looks like me and Daddy get ice cream!" 

*SICK*

Needless to say a lesson was learned here.  One, scrub your own boogers off the wall and don't EVER do it again or you will be attacked by pygmy elves.

Two...you might have told the truth, and we appreciate that, but the bathroom has Kleenex and that is where you need to put your boogers.

Three...you don't get ice cream.  Mostly because I am still grossed out and really we didn't mean it in the first place.  Someday you will thank us for being this hard on you when you are in therapy.  We prolly just saved you 5 years of distress.