Day 202

And we're the three best friends that anyone could have......


Grateful for 3

It seems like the grandkids came in waves in our family.  First Brennan...then Austie.  Then Mary, Rylee, Max.  Then Gannon, Cece and Regan.  Then Jack, Kailey, Erin.  They are all close.  Some 4 days apart, some 10 days apart.
They are all good buddies.
My girls are so lucky to have close cousins. 
God bless their friendships.
God bless them all.

Day 201

I realize this picture sucks, but..if you look close, you will see one of our 3 eagles.

Grateful for our eagles

Here is the story.  We have gone to Hayward since we were small.  Mom and Dad made it a place that was amazing, fun, and full of so many memories that we cannot count.  Well, upon returning to Hayward as a big family a few years back....before Kailey was one, we have cabins that are beautiful on Big Round.  They are rustic log cabins with miles of private beach that is clear water and sandy beach.
We have been blessed with two eagles in the tree by the little cabin since we began going there.  We all decided that the eagles were Grandpa Harry Hancock and Gram Hancock.  They were there every summer to greet us.
Every summer.
This summer, we arrived at the cabin.  Jamie literally posted as her status, "Last year and years past, two eagles...wonder if this year (Aunt Jean) if there will be 3?" 
I shit you not. 
3 Eagles.
3.
There to greet us this year.
Aunt Jean with her Mom and Dad.
They were all there with us in Hayward.  Just like old times.  Aunt Jean came with Gram, and celebrated my birthday with Jamie's with a pudding cake, and games, and love.
3 Eagles.
Tears.
Love...
and more love.
Thank you, Grandpa Harry and Gram....for coming every year....and thank you, Aunt Jean...for being there this year with us.  We knew it was you, and it comforted each and every one of us.
We love you all to the moon and back.
xoxo

Day 200

"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain."
~Unknown

Grateful for beauty before me

it stormed on Big Round.
It was hot. It was humid.  It was sooo hot.
We listened to the thunder and the rain.  We stayed in the cabin, waiting for the storm to pass. 
Then...we all saw the sky.  Right outside the windows of the cabin.
Pink.
<3
The sky in front of us turned pink, and Big Round Lake turned pink as well.
It was the single most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time.
It took me away from my "smart phone" and it took me away from the daily bs.
It brought me to feeling like God was right in front of me.
I shared the pink sky with the girls, with all 11 cousins.
How beautiful our world can be.
IF you put down the phone...if you put away your worries.  If you just be.
It is enough.
It is soooo enough.
The beauty I saw here, we all saw here...is something that doesn't happen everyday. Thank you Big Round, for showing us more beauty than usual this year.  You reminded me that each day we have is truly a gift.  Truly a gift to do with what we choose.  We make or break our day.
God helps us, but in the end, our decisions are ours.
This day...was a good one.  All 19 of us.  Together. In Hayward.
All 19 of us laughing, talking, sharing stories and making new memories.
That...is what life is about.
Thank you, God, for the pink sky, because this became part of our story.
Thanks to you.
<3

Day 199

Someone please admit him to the rehab clinic for Angry Birds Anonymous...

Grateful for Angry Birds and Grampie

The cribbage master.  The "I don't want to play that neither" guy.  The what the hell is that thing you are so addicted to man.  The Grand PEE.
Well, this year at the cabin, he was introduced to three ipads.  Three ipads that had Angry Birds on them.
Which meant, if he got up early enough...sometimes at 0500, he could sit and play angry birds without interruption forever.  And kill the green piggy's.
He has LOOK SHINY adhd.
He sees angry birds, and he sees 3 stars, I can beat your score.
I think it might be a little weird if Grampie wont give the ipad back to a kid to beat another level. :) 
And just today, Grammy says to me, "do you think we should just get an ipad vs. a computer?"
(wow.  angry birds addict has spilled over to Grammie.)
Mind you...Grammie didn't play it, but Grampie must be in withdrawl.
Must buy ipad for him/ Grammie soon.
:) 

Day 198

We love Papa.  We love him and Grammy to the moon and back.

Grateful for weekly visits

Now that the girls are taking Irish dance in St. Paul, we are able to see Grammy and Papa more than ever now.  Seems as though we see Uncle Jimmy as much as well.  The girls just love him and adore him.  I think he is the favorite Uncle, just because he is awesome, and because he has loved them unconditionally. 

(Plus they think he's "cool" because he has awesome glasses)

Each day is a gift.

I truly believe this.  The girls seem to think the ride to St. Paul kid of sucks, and the Irish, well, they love it...and they are excited for new beginnings.

I am excited for all three girls, and I am happy that we get to see Grammy and Papa more than ever now.

It used to be once a year.

Maybe the decisions made about activities are a blessing in disguise.

Maybe us being 15 minutes away from Mimi and 30 from Grammy and Papa...and 15 from my Uncle Steve and Aunt Dar....is a good thing.

Life brings us to many different roads.

Some new, some old, some bumpy.

But it's how we travel is what matters.  We are blessed to have found O'Shea Irish Dance.

We are blessed to have Grammy and Papa and Mimi so close who love us all.

We are blessed.

We love you all, Gibbs family.  To the moon and back...even when it is a rough road, we still love you all to the moon and back.

Always.

<3

Day 197

The two people that taught me that together is the best place to be.

Exactly.


Grateful for each other

I know that I make plenty of mistakes.  I know that I am not the best Mom, and I know that Matt is not the best Dad all the time.  None of us can be perfect.
I have yet to know that perfect is.  Perfect is something that I tried very hard to be for a very long time in my life, and never was I even close.  (In my standards).  Now, I am that much further away.
I don't think perfect is what is expected.  I think being grateful and appreciative of your spouse, being happy and aware of what you have in life, and how lucky you are is what matters.
I have a family that loves unconditionally.
Sure, we have our hard times.
We have our arguments.
We have been through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the good again.
Matt has watched his Dad go through chemo and hurt for him as he cannot fix it.
Matt has called his Mom, wishing he could be closer, and feeling miles away.
I have lost an Aunt to lung cancer.
Mom lost her sister.
My Dad lost a brother.
And my parents have laid to rest their parents.
I think...that each and every day is a gift.  What we choose to do with it is up to us entirely.  We cannot always be perfect.  We cannot always feel good.  Or happy.  Or like we can put that foot in front of the other.
Those days...are the days when we lean on our loved ones.
Our spouses, our parents, our brothers and sisters.
Our cousins, our Aunts and our Uncles.
Our friends.
These are our roots.
Hold onto what you have.
Tell your loved ones that they matter.
Tell your children...no matter how bad the day at work, or how stressed you are...tell them...you love them to the moon and back.  Then tell them that God loves them too.
Its all about who is by your side.
I have many by mine, and I am lucky.
I am rich.
Not with money...for with money...I am poor....but with family, with love, with kindness, with God...I am rich.
And for that....
....I am thankful.  Dear God, I am thankful.
My parents did that for me.  Showed me that family means everything. Family means that no matter what...they are by your side.  Thank you God.
I love my family.

Day 196

"Dancers are athletes of God."
~Unknown

Grateful for Father Terry

One thing I know about this man...he knows more about God than I probably ever can.
I know that this man married us at St. Cecilia back in 1996.
I know that this man baptised all eleven of the Berg grandchildren.
I know that this man, has helped our family through many things.
He has deepened my love and appreciation for God.
I know that this man can sing.
I know this man can drink a pint or two, as the Irish lad he is.
I know that this man loved being there for friends and family of Patrick when he celebrated his 50th.
I know Rylee danced her little heart out, and when done, went to hug Father Terry.
I know that THIS MAN made us all laugh our asses off when he said right after taking this picture..."Tag me in this and post it on face book!"
THAT...
....made me laugh...
This man....is awesome.
Thanks for everything you have shown us and taught us through the years.
<3
Keep singing, and we will keep dancing.

Day 195

"Oh, you like that Mickey Mouse bracelet?  I made it in craft class.  And you're beautiful."
~Mimi

Grateful for craft class

Ok, so Mimi did NOT make the Mickey Mouse bracelet in craft class, but that's what she told us.  Rylee said, "I like your bracelet, Mimi!", and then Mimi claims "Oh, thank you dear, you see, I made it in craft class."  Meanwhile, Grammy Gibbs and sister Judy (Mimi's daughters) were sitting across from us, and they are the ones who bought the bracelet at Disney World.  They just shook their heads and laughed a little.  Rylee did too, because she knew its one you can get at the parks.
Nonetheless, IF there was a craft class that Mimi attended and made that bracelet...way to go Mimi.
Craft class.  99 years old and coming up with that shit...that's funny.
In between every single sentence with Mimi...she adds and "I love you", or "You are so beautiful"....
So, maybe we all should attend more craft classes....so we can be more in a "Mimi mood."
We love Mimi.
She does not love Mondays.
Mondays are hair days, and she refuses to go get her hair done at the beauty shop unless Matt's Mom and Judy are there.  They tell her she is going with them to get a snack of some kind.  She otherwise argues and does not want to go.
Then, her room is cleaned out from all of the stuff she hides in her room through the week.
Jelly packets, crackers, food, books, etc.
Mimi doesn't care for Mondays, but when all is said and done, she thanks Judy and Grammy Gibbs and throws in a few "Oh, I love your top, and you are beautifuls" too.
I think I would like craft class.
Mimi seems to enjoy it.
Not sure what day it is, but she likes it, and that's all that matters.
:)

Day 194

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.

Agatha Christie

Grateful for grand things.

I don't know what it is about this lake.  I don't know if its because this lake holds many memories for me, for my family, for my children...or if its just because when we all arrive here...we feel an inner peace that cannot be explained.
The loons call.
The waves roll in.
The fishing poles are brought out, the hooks are bated, and little fish along with big fish are caught.
The laughter.  The sweat and hard work of loading and unloading the boat and belongings, getting groceries, and finally...sitting down with those we love around the cabin, or by the fire.
These...are grand things.
This lake has heard many a story.  Ones out in the boat while fishing...ones at the cabin, on the dock, on the boat.
This lake holds many years for us...began coming up here in 1978, I believe.
It is magical, it is peaceful, it is grand.
When I come back home now, as an adult, I see and feel all the work my parents had to put forth to make this happen for us when we were small.  It's no easy task...returning....the laundry...the unpacking...
....but you know...
the memories and the stories...and the everything...
is GRAND.
I am grateful for grand things, and this year, most thankful for GRANDPARENTS who care enough and love us all enough to keep this grand feeling continuing.
For life...its grand.
And when you feel what that is, its awesome.
Thank you, God, for letting us see what grand is.
<3
Sometimes we lose sight of that.
Thank you.

Day 193

Who the hell plays this game besides us?  I would DIE to see this sign along the way.
~It would curb many fights.

Grateful for the alphabet

Not really sure how the kids today get off saying "I'm bored."  WTF.
Bored is when I grew up.  In the station wagon on the way to South Dakota...or on the way to Wisconsin.
No i-pods.  No movies.  No cd's.
Just Mom, Dad, and 8 track annoying songs.
We had travel bingo cards where we slid the red slider across the thing we found.
But, I never won.
(go figure)
Dammit.
So then this year, I get phone calls EIGHT days in a row about who is going to be the LCO Bingo Queen.
Pretty sure that won't be me.
Pretty sure that the kids should not be bored.
They all have i-pods with songs, movies, and games.
They have an i-pad.
They have movies in the car.
But, they will be bored....I am sure.
So, we will play the alphabet game on the way up to the cabin, and hope that we run into this sign.
That would rock.

Day 192

Three.  The Berg kids.  Or...Aka Lurch Pugsy, Ditch Witch and Oscar.
~Mmmm hmmmm

Grateful for 3

First things first.  We...none of the 3 of us...drink booze or otherwise.
No sirr.
One time....at band camp...
"nuff said.
Well, its fun.  Being around your siblings.  At least, I like mine.  They make
 me laugh, they make me smile.
I like how when we all get together, lots of "Tom Foolery" happens...and then Janice acts like she is all mad, but really, she isn't.
Janice this year, will be in the sauce with us all.  How do I know?  She asked Dad today if the "Jeramiah Weed" was packed.  A FIFTH of JW.
And then you know when Terri comes up, and Balcer, and the rest of the crew...well, that is when the "Ducks" might show up.

The "ducks" are likely to return.

Sunday.

We have the Seesters coming from up Nort of the cabin.

I heart my seesters.

This is gonna be good.

Can't wait.

Famous Daves...here we come.



Day 191

Three little girls and their 8 cousins get to make memories here...evey year...because of Grammie and Grampie
~We love Big Round

Grateful for Big Round

The lake.  The cabin. Fishing. Swimming.  Skiing and tubing. Games.  Tom Foolery. Bingo. The casino. Famous Dave's.  Relatives coming to visit at the lake.
Memories made.
Dancing.  Singing.  Fireworks that are illegal.
Sparklers.
Lots of sparklers.
The kids are with God.
Have you been drinking?  Hell no.  Not me.
Have anything to throw in the wash?  Need to make a full load.
Hey, cool-it on the booze.
Going fishing to the honey hole.
(Gross)
The snowshoe.
Musky holes.
Fish cribs.
Games.
Laughs.
Love.
And don't forget....IT'S GARRRBAGE DAY!!!
Cannot WAIT to go tomorrow. 
Thank you, Grammie and Grampie...for sharing Hayward with our kids.
It's gonna be an awesome week.
Love you.

Day 190

One summer ago, these three girls had the summer of a lifetime....thanks to Allie and Ryan.

Grateful for lazy summers in the past

Last year, my girls had one of the best summers ever.  They had Allie and Ryan there to babysit when I had to work.
Allie and Ryan were their world last summer.
They has so much fun just being kids with them.
They miss this stuff, and they miss Allie and Ryan.
They were a team babysitting the girls.  The girls looked forward to them coming each day.
This summer, Allie and Ryan are too far away.  They miss them.
A lot.
Allie has been the single most role in irish for my girls.
They love Allie.
They look up to Allie and want to someday do what she has done in her lifetime.
Allie really has talent, poise, and love for irish dance, and for teaching it.
We have her to thank for the girls' passion to continue at O'Shea.
Allie and Ryan...thank you....for playing dress up, for swimming with, for going to the zoo with, and everything else you did with the girls.
They will never forget.
You both left footprints on their hearts.
We love you.

Day 189

"Who Grampie boy?  Him are.  Him are such a good boy, and him Grampie love him."
~Grampie

Grateful for Grampie boy

This is my son.
This is Mommy's boy.
With him Grampie.
Grampie love him grandson.
Grampie told Coconut him Grampie's favorite boy in all of Story County.
Grampie also said that him is more his favorite than Chuck nuts and batshit mazey and eeyore maddie.
Grampie love him boy.
This is a perfect picture of the two very best boys in all of Story County.
Hands and paws down.
<3
Grampie needs a doggie.

Day 188

Who doesn't love Tetris?
:)

Grateful for phones not charged.

So in Disney, Uncle Mark was more than addicted to Tetris on his phone.  He was in line at the rides playing this.  He was on the bus playing this.
He was in the hotel hallway and elevator playing this.
If he wasn't playing this, he was busy "checking in" on Foursquare.
This resulted in Jamie "Forgetting" to charge Mark's phone on one day.
Poor Mark.
Poor Uncle Markie watched me become mayor of the docks of Disney waterways.
I heart Tetris.  I heart Uncle Markie.
But, I heart Jamie for taking his phone and not charging it so I could become mayor. :)
And I can tell you that I have been here on Tetris....and this move has come across on my game.
And I said fuck, too.

Day 187

Last year, on the Duluth Ariel Lift Bridge...the cousin birthday girls.

Grateful for birthdays

Seems as though when we started having kids, they just kept coming.  Grammie and Grampie have 11 grandchildren.  Grampie seems to think I need to have one more to make it an even dozen.
I have told Grampie that
A: I would rather grow a third eye
B: I would rather be abducted by an alien
C: I would rather grow a third eye.
I love my girls.
But, three is enough.
:) 
These two cousins have grown up together, and are very close. 
Brennan and Austin.
Max, Rylee, and Mary.
Cece, Regan, and Gannon
Jackson, Kailey and Erin.
Cousins for life...best friends forever.
<3

Day 186

"Damned kids and their ice cream cones!"
~Aunt Jean

Grateful for thought fullness

So, when Aunt Jean went to Disney with us when we were little, well, in high school...and a couple of times before that, we made some memories that we will never forget.
Space Mountain.
We made Aunt Jean ride it with us.  She didn't really want to go, but she did, because we all wanted her to go.
Well, she and we...laughed so hard that Aunt Jean peed her pants shortly after leaving the rides "rocket".  She pulled Jamie in front of her, and me in back.  We were not quiet about this.  We laughed our asses off.  Aunt Jean laughed as well, but I know she was thinking....WTF...and "Why did I go on this ride?!"
Well, she went straight to the bathroom where I followed.  She proceeded to take her shorts off, rinse them in the sink...and her undies...and stand bare assed in the restroom.
When people stared, she said, "God damned kids and their ice cream cones!"
And we all giggled as we knew that was a TOTAL lie.
She was rinsing her shorts out in the sink.
Peed her shorts.
Then the memories of driving down with Aunt Jean.
Naming the grocery store "Pube-lix" instead of "Publix".
Going to Epcot, and typing into the computers that spoke out loud..."WHO FAR-TEDDD?"
Then we would all walk away and laugh out loud.
Then the spitting the water through the crack in your teeth at people and they think it was bird shit.
Funny....but wrong.
But...sooo Aunt Jean.
Every year now, we go to Disney.
The first time we went without Aunt Jean being there to call, etc...we had this rock instead....of her handwritten "J"
That was in my pocket.
That was in Jamie's pocket.
The entire week.
We wanted Aunt Jean with us...on every ride...and so she was.
How very thoughtful of Tom and Robbin to get these stones made for all of us.  Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Brother and sister in-laws, grandchildren, and everyone else...we all have Aunt Jean's "J" on a rock.
I  miss her so.
I know my Mom misses her so also.
A sister is someone who you will always have in your heart, in your mind, in your soul.
A sister...puts prints on your heart.
Forever.
And then a thoughtful cousin makes her handwriting....alive.
Thank you, Tom and Robbin.
<3
Thoughtful, and forever loved for this stone that holds memories of a lifetime.
xo
Grammie and Grampie need to come to Disney with us next time.  I will make sure no kids and their ice cream cones get in the way...but we just want our kids to have that memory.
Lets plan all 11 to go soon....and Grammie, bring extra shorts. :)

Day 185

"If you dream it, you can do it."
~Walt Disney

Grateful for dreams

I know that my kids will not be the top dancers...the number one of their class in school.   I know that they, at some point, will have to deal with failure and hurt.
They have to some extent already.
It's all about how you deal with each experience is what makes you or breaks you.
My girls have taken what they have learned to love through an amazing teacher...and ran with it now.  There is no looking back.  After camp today, their final day, they are hooked, and there is no doubt where they want to be.
Dive in.  Feet first.
Let your feet and your spirits fly.
The joy that surrounds me when I watch the two of you is....well....way too hard to explain.
And these dreams that you both have, are rubbing off on your sister.  She will soon be in the hard shoes as well.
Three Irish girls.
As Papa just called you yesterday..."Three darbs."
Go for what makes you all happy.
Daddy and I will support you no matter what you do.
To the moon...all three of you "darbs".
<3

Day 184

Love this.  Think I could see it in our garage. :)

Grateful for honesty

Our neighbors seem to be very concerned with what we do all the time.
I cannot stand any single one of them.
And when you need to be creepers through your mini-blinds because you want to be us...
...ewww.
I think this is my newest home improvement project.
Go ahead and stare at us. 
This will go up so they can look at this...and I will giggle my ass off.

Day 183

"I'll love you forever, I 'll like you for always...as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."
~Love You Forever

Grateful for reasons

I have three beautiful children.  I have three reasons to try to be a good Mom every day.
There are days, though, when I have to remind myself of the above quote.
Breathe.
God gave me another day.
God gave me another way to show my girls I love them.
God gave me a reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
God gave me a reason to be me....which is super bitchy a lot of the time....but really caring and loving at the same time.
I have reasons to remind my girls that no matter where...
no matter when...
no matter what has gone right or wrong...
I love them all.
No matter what.
I just need to remember to keep calm, and remind them I love them in between the "stoppits and don't talk to her or me like that...and the quit it, and don't hit your sisters."
I love them.
Times 3.
Note to self: arguing siblings are a part of growing up.
[insert brother Jason calling me "DitchWitch" everytime we went to Des Moines.]
Keep calm.

Day 182

"I was so scared...then I came back here, to look at your beautiful face."

~On Golden Pond

Grateful for lake time

One of my favorite movies of all time, but one that makes me cry every time I watch it.

After recent events in Matt's family, and recent events in mine....I watched this clip, and had many mixed feelings.

Whitefish Lake.  Our cabin there.  We have opted out of many summers there, because we didn't have the time, and we were going to Hayward.

Not that we don't love Hayward.  We do. It's our home, our home away from home in the summer.  Its our place to just be who we are, and have a great time with family.

Whitefish...Matt has many memories growing up and going there.  Now, we are just too busy.

And there inlies the problem.

Too busy.

Now Papa is battling cancer, and we have missed many a summer with the Gibbs family for stupid reasons, really...or for reasons that we just don't need the conflict.

(Or maybe its just me...which I am certain it is.)

I miss Aunt Jean terribly.  I miss my Gram.  I talked to Papa last night, and he is sounding like he is in such good spirits. 

We all pray he will pull through this.

For now, I will cherish lake time.  Be it Hayward, Whitefish, or elsewhere.

I will cherish the time spent with loved ones, because I tend to lose that in everyday life.

I will try my best to make things flow smoothly.

A little less ocd and over-reactions.

A little more of watching the loons on the lake, and hugging my family tight.

Note to self:

Give up the shit in the past that sucks.

Tomorrow is a new day, and you need to bring your best game.

*thanks*

Day 181

"I like huggles, lots and lots of huggles.  And I love you.  And you, and you, and you, and you and you."
~Mimi

Grateful for visits
Here is how our visits to the Benedictine Health Center start.
We sign in, and we all have to wear a visitor badge.
We then get to go upstairs to see Mimi.  Matt has to remind her that he's Matt, her Grandson.
She says, "Of course you are, thank you for coming...ooh, and look! You brought these little people too!"  Then she goes on to say, "You are beautiful, you are just absolutely beautiful...give me a huggle." Then one by one, the girls move in for their huggle with Mimi, and then she says again, "I love you.  I love you all. You are all so beautiful, really.  And thank you for the huggle...I like those."
Matt commented on her bracelet this visit.
(It's a Mickey Mouse one from Disney World that Mary and Judy had brought her.)
She tells Matt, "Oh! Do you like that?  I made it at art class the other day."
We all about bust out laughing., but not loud enough for Mimi to hear.
We love Mimi.
At the end of every visit, we all say our goodbyes and give kisses and huggles.
Then she normally says how beautiful the girls are...and we say our "love yous, " then we leave.
I don't like leaving.
I wish that we could sit and talk for hours with her.  But then, I enjoy the stories she tells.
Not one visit goes by where she doesnt' say this:
"I will forever keep you in my prayers.  I love you all so much."
I love Mimi.
We all love Mimi.
<3

Day 180

"This is MY HOUSE, GUS!"

~Eddie

Grateful for humor

Ok, so this is probably too many "Eff" words even for me, but I am sorry...this movie leaves us crying from laughing every time.

Goonie-goo-hoo.

WTF is Goonie-goo-hoo?

So, if you are my Foursquare friend, you will notice that our house is "My House, Gus."

We have many camp outs.  We have many parties in our back yard.

I can tell you, that once to a certain point in the night, the "My house Gus" talk starts.

Brontosaurus Burgers are not allowed in my backyard, because Gus would burn the shit.

You will also notice that we have "Gus' Pool and Patio" in our backyard.

Gus...we love the guy.

As long as he knows its MY house, Gus.

Then its all good.

And for the record, I am glad I don't have an Aunt Bunny.

(or at least that we know of yet....no one has ever fallen down the steps, and I'd like to keep it that way.)

Also, Janice claims to not approve of this video nor the language in it...so we have snuck the video into our bags for Hayward...because I have shown Grampie, and he "giggles his ass off" when he listens to the different clips...and then Janice gives him look# 387.

#387 is not a good look.

Trust me.

Its funny, and its all good.

God Bless Goonie-goo-hoos.

Day 179

"Lights will guide you home...and ignite your bones...and I will try....to fix you."

~Coldplay

Greatful for fixers

I became a nurse, because I wanted to be a people fixer.  Or a people helper.  Or just someone who listens queitly to an elder tell you a story, or someone who holds a hand of someone who is losing a family member, or holding a dying person's hand.
I realize I have no power to fix anyone.
God has that power...then nurses, doctors, and patients have to do the rest.
I wanted to be able to fix situations in my life for a long time, yet I find myself running away still, even as a Mother of three girls.
I fix their boo-boos. I can kiss owies with the best of them.
I cannot fix everything.
I wish I could.
I would have fixed many things in our lives...but then, life isn't supposed to be "perfect" all the time.
If I could fix something right now, I would fix cancer so it would never come hurt anyone else.
Ever.
Since I cannot do that, I will try to fix my thinking about how I need to set things that happened in the past waay far away from the present.
I will try...to Fix you.
<3



Day178

I do believe this is fitting and so true.

Grateful for feeling right

Even if it's for a split second, feeling that all is right in your world, your heart, etc...it feels good.
But oh, how easily that can be taken away.
That feeling, of being right in your heart.
I think that happens when we let our guard down, and then allow others to pick apart why we made the decisions that we made.
I am pretty sure that's not what God intended when he made us. 
I am pretty sure...that when something happens that makes our heart smile, we should be happy.
We should take that split second, and follow what our heart says, and do it without regret.
And then...not allow anyone to criticize, or better yet, just be able to let the criticisms roll off our backs so we can move on with our day.
Our hearts know.
Its our minds and our insecurities that mess it all up.
Our hearts know...I need to remember this...because those split seconds go away fast if I forget.

Day 177

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.  ~Author Unknown

Grateful for my Gram

There is something about love. 
Something that you feel when you are swept up by your Grandmother's arms.
Something that you feel when she reads you a story or sings you a song.
Something that you remember when you smell the house that she lived in.
Something that you remember when you see pictures of her holding you.
Something that you remember when you look into her gentle Irish eyes.
Something that you know that will be with you forever.
Something that you know will never leave your heart.
Something that you know that is so precious to you...it gives you that lump in your throat.
There is something about love.
Something she taught my Mom, my Aunt, my Uncles...
...and all of her grandchildren.
Love is patient.  Love is kind.
Love is...a Grandma.
And everything else wrapped into one.
I love you, Gram; and not a day goes by that I don't miss you.
<3
To the moon.