Sparrows to Eagles

"She's a sparrow when she's broken...but she's an eagle...when she flies."

~Dolly Parton

This song has my Mom written all over it.  My Grandma, my Aunt Jean, and me, maybe too.  Even my sister Jamie.  Tonight, I have been kicked and kicked and I guess I am done being kicked by the same people.  I have been sitting as the broken sparrow.  I don't want my girls to think that it's ok to have people treat you like shit and walk all over you.  Somewhere, in the midst of the kicking, and in the midst of the name calling, the blocking, the endless nonsense, you have to stand your ground and find who you are.

I was that broken sparrow for quite sometime in my life.

I had an Aunt that flew as that sparrow.

She, no matter what, lifted me up.

I had a Grandmother that flew as that sparrow.  She, no matter what, did what she needed to do for herself and for her family to make things the best she could for THEM.  She always came last.  She was my best friend.  She was someone that always, always, no matter what, could shake it out of me.

(and I was better.)

I have a Mother...who is my everything in this world.  She is that eagle every time I look at her.  Her eyes tell me stories that my Aunt and Grandma never could.

Her face and her smile and her arms are there no matter what.  She has been that sparrow, but you know, as long as I have known her, she has been that Eagle.  Always.

I have 3 girls.  Been told recently by two people that I am the most horrible person on the planet.  I have been told I have no friends, no life, no nothing. I have been told I am hated by many.

It made me quit flying.

It hurt.  But, then....something inside me said..."You have 3 girls."  You can do this, and you have that *SISTER*

who has never let you down.  That sister who has made you keep flying.  It will all be ok, I think.

I can't make everyone happy nor do I need to.  I just need to be true to myself and remember who is important to me, and will help me fly.  The people that bring me down....done.

Maybe a sparrow now, but that Eagle, that Eagle, Gram....she's here.  And I love my girls...and if there is anything I can teach them, its to stand up for what you believe in, for what you love, for what makes you feel PASSION.

I'm not going anywhere....I am only going to make my life a better place, and so far, its awesome.

When the sparrow in me comes back, I have the people I need to lift me back up, and I have God.

Faith.

its 2012.

You can't make me and break me anymore.  I am here to be a better Mom, a better daughter, a better friend, a better sister, and a better everything.
Out with the people that continually make me feel like a sparrow.
I am going to fly.

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