Home

Well, I'm home.
Coconut is so happy. He hates my walker, though. He greets me with many kisses and jumps into my lap, but growls at my walker.
I sit in my chair, look around and think...12 days ago here I was with a tall glass of vodka and diet and chatting with my seester Terri. I'm not even sure what we were talking about, but I am sure we were solving the world's problems with vengeance.
Coconut licks my face. Kailey runs over to me and stops and asks me, "Is it ok if I sit with you or will that hurt you?" I felt my heart sink. Of course you can sit with me. PLEASE sit with me, oh how I've missed you all! So we cuddle and I kiss her nose. She says she loves me and she's glad I'm home. My head is pounding and tears roll down my cheeks and I kiss her again and tell her I am glad I'm home too. She hops on to her bath. She begins singing "He's got the whole world in His hands"....loud. I love her little voice, but with a migraine- holy moly. I just had Rylee ask her to sing softer and she did. (I hate that I had to do that- let the kid sing you mean mom you!)
Regan comes out. Snuggles in. Fits perfectly next to me. She tells me softly, "I've missed you so much, mama. I'm so glad you are home. I promise we will help you with anything we can."
I kissed her on the top of her head and tried to squeeze her like I always did, but I can't squeeze on the left size. My head throbs and I cry again but Regan doesn't know because she is curled up on me.
Regan gets up, sees the tears, and I told her it was the headaches. She promptly got me the ice pack for my head.
Rylee came in and looked at me but didn't say anything... She's at that age, you know. I'm not cool and my cool factor went down even worse because who's mom has a brace and a walker and a wheelchair? Sorry, Rylee, I hate it too. I hate it too.
Oh and a shower chair. That's non-cool too. I am home. I am thankful for that. I have killer headaches which require routine meds morning and night and narcotics every four hours...and hour three waiting for that dose on the fourth hour kills me.
I am home. It's better than the hospital. It's home. Now the uphill battle starts. There will be good days and bad days. Bring em on I guess, bring em on.