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| Can't we all just get along? Grateful for way back when Its not easy, when you are added into a family of ten siblings. I love Matt's family. I was very scared, very intimidated, very nervous about all of thier opinions about me, what they thought, how I looked, etc. We would go to the cabin on Whitefish, and we were included, accepted, and loved. We have had some good times. But in all families, things sometimes don't go just the way you want. Or the way someone else wants...then it puts a stop sign in the middle of the road. My kids know thier cousins on my side very well. We all live in the same town, that's why. My kids know the names and faces of their cousins on Matt's side, but don't really know them. I am sad about that, and I wish it were different. But, I cannot change how one person feels. I tend to take one person's feelings about me and generalize. Gotta stop doing that.  Here is the group of cousins that my kids don't know very well, and its very much my fault, and....well, its just distance and then some. Maybe the blue fairy can come in and fix it all. I hope, someday soon, that can happen. There are a lot of kids here that deserve to know their Iowa cousins. My girls deserve to know their Minnesota cousins. Its time to just let bygones be bygones. Life is short. Sometimes, I wish I knew how to magically fix things. Because if I did, I would fix whatever is wrong here and move on. Sometimes people suck. Sometimes people are not perfect. Sometimes, things just happen that you wish you could go back and have a do-over. Sometimes, sorry is not enough. Sometimes, you just have to admit you are lost, you suck, and you are outnumbered. **White flag** Ready to be fixing whatever needs fixed. Matt has done a lot of bending for me and my family, we are not perfect. Matt loves his family, and misses them, and I have kinda sucked in the department of fixing that ever since Thanksgiving 2 years ago. I will try harder, life is just way too short. I love the Gibbs family. I love his brothers, and his sisters. It's lent. Its time to forgive. Its time to forget. Its time. Its time. |
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Day 69
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2 comments:
Atta girl. :) Family is hard...ask me. It's been a loooong 3 years in mine. Time heals a lot of wounds, and eventually we learn that the resentments and hurts we are carrying around are only toxic to ourselves. That's reeeaaalllly hard to remember some days and sometimes I reeeeaalllly suck at it. What counts is that you own your part, you are trying to let go of theirs and that you "get it". Way to go, sister. The rest will all work out as it should. Lot's of seep breaths...oh yes, and I repeat The Prayer of St. Francis to myself MANY times a day. Godspeed :)
love ya, kelly. i am not perfect, and never will ever try to be. i suck at lots of things...but i just hope to someday, fix what is broken, because my family means the world to me, and i know that
Matt loves his family and misses them. Gotta get past it. I get ya, sister. love ya. :)
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