Sunday, May 22, 2011

139

So Grammy and Grampie need a dog.

Grateful for companions


Ask Janice.  She has no love loss for dogs.  I can tell you that this is one subject that will have her laughing a little in one minute, and then have her sputtering words like....well, words that should just be left out.
Just imagine what big F.H.B
HB equals hair ball.
She does not like all dogs.  In fact, I am not sure if she really "loved" one of our dogs or not.  Dad loved Tigger.  Dad loved Maggie.
Floyd...well, he was ok...but bordered on needing a daily medication.
Then there was NORMAN.
We all 3, thought this was the BEST idea EVER.
We went to the shelter for Father's Day, and saw this puppy...and named him Norman.  Went to Mom and Dad's, and waited for them to come home.
Dad walked downstairs, and Mom followed.  Then we all had this look and said, "OH NOOTHING!" 
Then...the little boy's head poked out from a blanket.  Dad said, "What the hell is THAT?!"
Mom looked in discust and said, ""Christ!"  (Among other things.)
All 3 of us in unison said, "WE got him for yooouuuu, Dad!"
So they accepted Norman into the family.
Norman was mental.
He pissed on Micheal, my cousin, when he was 4.  Aunt Darlene dubbed him his name at that time..."OH, NASTY NORMAN!"
The asshole would stand in the corner and stare at the wall.
He would not move out of the corner until he was done doing what he needed to do in that corner...who the hell knows what he was thinking.  He had no effing brain, we all decided.
Once, I was making macaroni and cheese for Grandma Hancock in Mom's kitchen.  Norman went to the chair in the corner, and yacked his food all over the floor.  Gram then got "urpy"..and when Gram gets "urpy", things are not good.
She said, "Colleenie, never mind the macaroni. I'm not hungry for it anymore neither."
Then I grabbed paper towels to clean up the mess...nearly gagging myself, and Gram says, "PUT A CHAIR OVER IT UNTIL RENO GETS HOME!"
I did just that, and we laughed, til someone peed, and then we sat in the other room for not to smell the barf.
Dad got home and cleaned it up...mumbling "GD dog....who the hell got me this dog??"
*Gram and I snickered a lot in the other room quietly.*
When Norman died, Mom celebrated.
A lot.
In fact, I think she did dances, and made celebration dinners and pies and cakes for weeks after the "effer was gone."
We got Mom a garden stone that year for Mother's Day.
It was a paw print...with Norman's name on it.
She laughed....her ass off.
So...the question is...dog...or no dog...that is the question.
Hmmmm.....

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